My son passed away in 2017, an hour and five minutes after birth.
Apart from the absolute heart-breaking devastation of losing a child and having to live with it every day, the hardest thing that my wife and I have had to deal with has been how friends and family have acted.
It is like we now speak a different language: some of our loved ones learned the language very quickly; some have made innocent mistakes by saying inappropriate things but have embraced our feedback and have now learned; but others have resisted learning or are learning too slowly and continue to say inappropriate things, hurting us again and again.
The lack of common sense on the subject of baby loss is not the fault of our friends and family – it is society’s fault. Society needs to have a better understanding about baby loss and how best to comfort loved ones who are devastated by it.
The only way for society to learn how best to support bereaved parents is to talk more about the subject of baby loss.