Free Stories For Children To Launch Here Soon!

In these crazy times, I wanted to try to bring a smile to as many faces as possible.

Therefore, I will be publishing some brand new material on social media, free for anyone to enjoy.

The focus will be on my new stories for children, so that parents at home (working or isolating) can enjoy reading them to or with their children.

Watch this space and enjoy!

What most people don’t realise about child loss #FindingYourWay2019

What most people don’t realise about child loss is that the utter devastation isn’t only with the event of losing a child, but it’s also with the never-ending agony of having to survive every future day without them.

To help people understand it better, it might be like a sober alcoholic being forced to spend 24/7 in a pub – there is no escape.

#FindingYourWay2019

My Son Passed Away In 2017 #FindingYourWay2019

My son passed away in 2017.

Society generally acknowledges that the loss of a baby/child is the worst thing that a parent can go through.

However, society generally perceives that the beginning of life is at birth.  Therefore, society only affords the above acknowledgement where the loss is after birth.

This perception results in the inadequate understanding of, and therefore the inadequate support for, parents who are grieving the loss of a baby who passed away before birth.  Society, whether subconsciously or consciously, views the loss of life before birth, whether through miscarriage or stillbirth, as fundamentally different to the loss of life at any age after birth.

Every life is different and every death is different.  However, every loss deserves the opportunity to be grieved, whether the life was lost at 100 years after birth, 70 years after birth, 40 years after birth, 5 years after birth or during pregnancy.

The grief often differs in severity, shock and type – some will grieve the loss of love, others will grieve the loss of companionship, others will grieve the loss of family traditions, and others will grieve the loss of the deceased’s future years.

If you say that someone who passes away at 100 years old has had “a good innings”, then you might say that someone who dies at 70 years old has missed out on a possible 30 years of their future, that someone who passes away at 40 years old has missed out on a possible 60 years of their future, and that someone who passes away at 5 years old has missed out on a possible 95 years of their future.

It is true that the older someone is, the more bonds that they will typically have made in life, and therefore the more bonds that will be broken in death.

However, the younger the age at which someone passes away, the greater the loss of their possible future years, and the greater the loss of the hope of what they might do or achieve in those years.

The relationship between ‘bonds made’ and ‘future years lost’ will typically be an inverse correlation – in other words, as one increases, the other decreases.  So when ‘bonds made’ is higher, it is likely that ‘future years lost’ will be lower, and conversely when ‘bonds made’ is lower, it is likely that ‘future years lost’ will be higher.

This is only a general principal and there will be many exceptions.  The point is that these two factors (‘bonds made’ and ‘future years lost’) are two of the key components of grief – given that one factor will typically be high when the other is low, the combined total will generally always be at a similar level.

For example:

10+0 = 9+1 = 8+2 = 7+3 = 6+4 = 5+5

My son passed away less than one day after birth.  My wife’s and my own bonds with our son were substantial, albeit probably lower than for parents who have bonded with their son for 40 years before he passed away.  The loss of possible future years, however, were higher for us.

The creation of bonds and memories with one’s baby begins before they are born, potentially as early as conception – every parent is different.  The hope for that baby’s future can also begin at that stage.

Therefore, the loss of life at any stage, before or after birth, is a tragedy and family members should be allowed to and expected to grieve however they want to.

Life is Love – a new Love begins at conception and a new Life begins at conception.

A Life Begins At Conception!

#FindingYourWay2019 #SandsMissionImpossible

#FindingYourWay2019 #SandsMissionImpossible

Join in with the Sands campaign this June, their awareness month.

Sands are a charity helping to raise awareness of pregnancy loss, baby loss and the devastating physical and mental consequences of such losses, both for men and women.

Talking is strength; talking is sharing the problem; talking is tackling the problem!

Let’s talk about mental health!

#FindingYourWay2019 #SandsMissionImpossible

Join in with the Sands campaign this June, their awareness month.

Sands are a charity helping to raise awareness of pregnancy loss, baby loss and the devastating physical and mental consequences of such losses, both for men and women.

Talking is strength; talking is sharing the problem; talking is tackling the problem!

Let’s talk about mental health!

Raising awareness of baby loss

Y.P. Sylvester is a British author, raising awareness of baby loss.

His new novel, which aims to tackle the social taboo of bereavement and baby loss, is currently in development.

Watch this space.

Let’s start talking about baby loss #findingthewords

My son passed away in 2017, an hour and five minutes after birth.

Apart from the absolute heart-breaking devastation of losing a child and having to live with it every day, the hardest thing that my wife and I have had to deal with has been how friends and family have acted.

It is like we now speak a different language: some of our loved ones learned the language very quickly; some have made innocent mistakes by saying inappropriate things but have embraced our feedback and have now learned; but others have resisted learning or are learning too slowly and continue to say inappropriate things, hurting us again and again.

The lack of common sense on the subject of baby loss is not the fault of our friends and family – it is society’s fault.  Society needs to have a better understanding about baby loss and how best to comfort loved ones who are devastated by it.

The only way for society to learn how best to support bereaved parents is to talk more about the subject of baby loss.

#GetTheInsideOut

Happy to support this campaign, to get people talking!

It shows strength, not weakness, to talk about worries and issues.

Drawing upon the devastating experiences suffered by my wife and me, I have written a novel to raise awareness on, and to get people talking about, grief, bereavement and child loss, which often lead to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder.

Let’s Get The Inside Out!

#GetTheInsideOut

A New Author, Breaking Taboos!

Y.P. Sylvester is a new British author.

Drawing upon the devastating experiences suffered by the author and his wife, his first novel aims to raise awareness on bereavement, grief and pregnancy difficulties. The novel delicately combines painfully-real emotions with an imaginative adventure story, attempting to reach a wide audience of all ages whilst also hopefully breaking social taboos in these areas. Together with mental health, awareness is growing on the struggles with pregnancy and bereavement, but not sufficiently.

Y.P. Sylvester is currently considering whether to work directly with publishers or to utilise the services of a literary agent. Any advice or comments would be much appreciated.

yps@ypsylvester.com
www.ypsylvester.com